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Book Box: Books for a Miffed Mother

May 07, 2023 06:01 PM IST

Five books + a short story, for Mother's Day next week.

Dear Reader,

The Paper Menagerie. PREMIUM
The Paper Menagerie.

My mother doesn’t call me these days.

She’s 77 and lonely, so it must be me. Mothering three toddlers to teens has made me a distracted daughter.

I think back to our phone calls.

‘Oh hello Mum.. oh no sweetie, what are you putting in your mouth.. yes, mum you were saying..do NOT pick that bit of rubbish up..so sorry Mum.. hey kiddo, step back on the pavement, it’s DANGEROUS to walk on that road, Mum, can call you back?’

And before I know it, ten years have passed, and the girls have all gone.

I call my mother back.

She says ‘Talk to dad,’ and hands me over. She sounds mad.

I wonder about the whys. Then it hits me. It’s a double whammy. It isn’t just my neglectful preoccupation with raising my kids. I’ve done something infinitely worse – something that begins with a book.

Where To Draw the Line.
Where To Draw the Line.

It’s a book about setting boundaries - Where To Draw the Line by Anne Katherine. From smothering mothers to controlling fathers to obsessive neat freaks, it has counsel for every clash. It’s the kind of book where you find yourself underlining every third line, especially if you’ve been brought up in a cosseting and controlling family. It’s also the kind of book that gets you into trouble for daring to declare boundaries and declining to discuss subjects. In short, it’s not exactly guaranteed to endear you to an uber-involved mum.

I respond to my miffed mother in the only way I know.

I send her books – one a month and many for Mother's Day. Of the books I send her, here are her five favourites.

Book 1 of 5: For the conspiracy junkie

Empire of Pain.
Empire of Pain.

For anyone who enjoys uncovering conspiracies, Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty is an incredible investigative story. I knew it would be a hit with my mother, she is a die-hard fan of scam stories, especially medical ones. She’s read every Robin Cook and loved The Constant Gardener too, with its description of pharma scandals in Africa when. So when I hear Patrick Radden Keefe on the New York Times Books Podcast, talking about his investigation into the oxytocin addiction scandal, I send her this book right away. And she loves it.

Book 2 of 5: Mount Everest Survival Story

Into Thin Air.
Into Thin Air.

For mountain lovers, who enjoy true-life survival stories, this is a fabulous read. Journalist Jon Krakauer was part of a larger 1996 expedition to Mount Everest, which turned into a tragic series of accidents. He documents these crazy stories as well as the larger story of man and the mountains in this racy-pacy book. Into Thin Air hits bullseyes for mum, she spent her childhood in the Himalayas, first in Simla and then in Manali, and she loves true life stories that are full of suspense.

Book 3 of 5: For the feminist

Chup.
Chup.

I grew up in a house full of books, but none on feminism - no Beavouir on my mother's bookshelves. Perhaps this was because she grew up in a patriarchal household, the youngest girl with three elder brothers. She was discouraged from thinking about a career, and when she was married into an even more patriarchal family, she was told ‘See we were right, we told you, families don’t like girls who work’. I decide to take a chance and send her Invisible Women and Difficult Women, both of which she enjoys. But her favourite by far, the book that makes the most impact on her is Chup: Breaking the Silence About India’s Women with its stories of a cross-section of women in India, from household help to housewives to civil servants.

Book 4 of 5: For the Psychology lover

Brene Brown.
Brene Brown.

Psychology appeals to my mother she dissects people in a Miss Marple kind of way, so I’m always sending her psychology books. She’s likes Robert Green’s The Laws of Human Nature too, but Brene Brown’s book with its beautiful layout and analysis is what completely wins her over. If you enjoy understanding people, Atlas of the Heart is the perfect primer for you. It’s incisive and erudite, scanning a spectrum of emotions, looking at fear, anger, envy, the desire to belong, and the ways in which human beings cope with each other and the world.

Book 5 of 5: Historical Fiction

Fall of Giants.
Fall of Giants.

If you are a fan of family sagas with strong characters and pacy plotting, this Century trilogy of world history is an enthralling read. Ken Follett is a master storyteller and this series is one of his best – it covers a huge canvas and yet its characters and action are so immediate. The three books in this trilogy are all tomes, with a 1000 plus pages each, but that just means you get to stay in these vivid worlds for that much longer. I load these on Mum’s Kindle before she leaves on holiday, and she tells me of the many pleasant afternoons she spends reading these compelling tales on a cruise ship.

And finally - a short story. An offering for every mother.

The Paper Menagerie.
The Paper Menagerie.

Read The Paper Menagerie by Ken Liu and gift it to your mother. It’s simple, profound and might make you cry. I teach The Paper Menagerie in my B-school classes on conflict management, as a case study on managing culture clashes and working in global teams, and it’s perfect for all these subjects.But what it really is, above all of these things, is a love story to our fabulous, fantastic mothers.

***

What are your favourite books to gift your mother? And who are your favourite literary mothers?

From Marmee in Little Women to Mrs Bennet in Pride and Prejudice to the two mothers in Zikora by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, these moms change our worlds - here’s to them all!

And for more bookish goodies for Mother's Day, here are seven provocative books for mothers.

Until next week then, happy reading!

Sonya Dutta Choudhury is a Mumbai-based journalist and the founder of Sonya’s Book Box, a bespoke book service. Each week, she brings you specially curated books to give you an immersive understanding of people and places. If you have any reading recommendations or suggestions, write to her at sonyasbookbox@gmail.com

The views expressed are personal

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