Exclusive| Sajid Khan: I have thought of ending my life many times in the last six years
In an exclusive chat, Sajid Khan speaks of the hell he went through after MeToo allegations & how the industry has kept him from moving on despite a clean chit.
He was shooting for Housefull 4 in 2018 when sexual harassment allegations by multiple women upturned his life. The storm of accusations — including claims of unwanted advances and harassment — upended his career, with work vanishing overnight. Sajid Khan, 54, became an accused in the #MeToo movement in Bollywood — called out, ridiculed and vilified. For six years, he chose silence. Until now. With trepidation in his voice, he recounts the toll the past years have taken on him, both mentally and physically.

How has life been for you over the last six years, since the #MeToo allegations?
I thought of ending my life many times in the last 6 years. It’s been extremely bad, in the sense that I’ve been out of work. Despite getting a clearance from Indian Film and Television Directors Association (IFTDA). I’m trying to get back on my feet. I had to sell my house and move to a rented flat because of no earnings. I was 14 when I started earning because my dad (actor, producer, and director, Kamran Khan) passed away, leaving me and (my sister) Farah (Khan Kunder, filmmaker and choreographer) with debts. Today, I wish my mum was alive (Menaka Irani died in 2024) to see me try to get back on my feet. More than her son, I was her caretaker. Life has been quite tough.
You’ve mentioned your blunt personality and its impact on your career. Do you think it contributed to the way things unfolded?
Looking back, yes. Now everybody does it on YouTube, but early on in my career, I used to say sensational things just to make headlines. When I worked on TV, my job was to entertain people. I used to rub many the wrong way...When I see some of my interviews today, I feel like taking a time machine back and stopping that guy — saying, ‘Idiot, what are you talking about? Why are you so brash?’ Words don’t matter; work does. Because I was so brash, I rubbed people the wrong way. I would apologise whenever I realised it, but when work stops, you start questioning your life. I’ve mellowed down. I just want to work to survive now.
How did you process the allegations and the trial that followed?
I left Housefull 4 because I didn’t want the dates to get shuffled. The producer, Sajid Nadiadwala, had put up a big set with 10–15 busy actors. Changing dates would’ve disrupted the film for years. Mine was a trial by media, very one-sided. What does a man work for? Respect. When that’s taken away, your self-respect comes into doubt. I was known for my offensive humour — I believed offence was the best defence. But I’ve learned the hard way. I never disrespected women, and I never will. My mother raised me to believe in gender equality. I didn’t realise my words would make me pay such a huge price.
How did your family react to the allegations?
Ten days before it happened, I was shooting in Jaisalmer, Rajasthan, and my mum wasn’t well. When I had to leave the film, I was worried she’d have a heart attack if she found out. I told Farah (sister) to hide the newspapers from her. For 10 days, I pretended everything was fine, leaving the house and coming back as if I’d been on set... I’ve never, and will never, say anything against any woman. But yes, the last six years have been a period of self-assessment. Everyone else named in the movement went back to work, but I didn’t. That felt harsh. It made me realise I needed to change not just my life but also the way I spoke to people. I’m much more restrained now.
Was it difficult finding work during this time?
Meetings went well, but post-Covid, entertainment has changed drastically. Ultimately, it’s about how you present yourself and the strength of your script. I have not understood why after so many years when everyone else has moved on, I am not being given that chance. I have a film starting mid-year now, but there’s no guarantee of success. That’s the nature of the industry.
Also read: Sajid Khan on Housefull turning seven: The film was no less than a paid holiday
Why did you choose to stay silent all this while?
I didn’t want to speak. My mother told me, ‘Silence is golden’. Perception is like mist — it has to be cleared.
Your appearance on Bigg Boss in 2022 was seen by many as an attempt to whitewash your image, especially after you were suspended by IFTDA in 2018 following sexual harassment allegations during the #MeToo movement. Since being cleared in 2019, what do you have to say about the perception that your return to the spotlight is an attempt to reshape your public image?
I didn’t read about that. I don’t read negative reviews. I began my career with a hit film, Heyy Baby (2007), which ironically received negative reviews. When I ventured into TV, a powerful editor went after me, and after the show went off-air, they wrote, ‘Thank God, it was the worst thing to hit TV.’ You can’t please everyone all the time. That’s just the way life is. Honestly, there were moments when I even contemplated suicide.
Did you seek therapy during those tough times?
No. I talked myself out of it. Farah is settled and doing well, and someone had to take care of my mum. I’ve always been the jester among my friends — the one who cheers everyone up. I told myself, ‘This can’t be your life’s book. It’s just a chapter’.
Your upcoming film might bring renewed criticism. Are you prepared?
Which film today isn’t criticised? Social media thrives on it. If comments cost money, there’d be fewer of them. I won’t react. Pompous promotions don’t matter. The audience decides based on the trailer.
The labels from the #MeToo movement — how do you deal with them now?
They affected me deeply, to the point where I wanted to end my life. But I have no animosity towards anyone. Jo kismat mein likha hota hai, woh hota hai. I’ve endured a lot. Six years of loss — losing my mother, my house... She didn’t just pass away due to illness. She was also weighed down by the mental stress of worrying about me. I feel like I let her down in some way. But now, I just want to move forward with my life. Some people cry over shoes, while others don’t even have feet. My job is simple: to entertain people. That’s all I know how to do.
