6 ways parents can help their child deal with bullying
Bullying can negatively impact a child's self-esteem and in many cases lead to mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Here's how parents can help their child deal with bullying.
Bullying can have a deep impact on a child's psyche. The early years of one's life are significant in shaping behaviours, attitudes and approach towards life. Bullying can negatively impact a child's self-esteem and in many cases lead to mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Children who are bullied may hesitate in talking with others, struggle academically, and may develop a feeling of worthlessness. While bullying is considered a normal part of growing up and many parents may think the child will learn to deal with it in time, it is important for parents, teachers, and other adults to take bullying seriously and address it when it occurs. (Also read: Parenting tips to help your child recognize and deal with bullying at school)
"A fifth grader pushed and teased by an eighth grader. A fourth grader’s tiffin box being snatched too often in the bus by a ninth grader. A rumour being spread about a tenth grader and excluded slowly from the peer group. A sixth grader being called names and made fun of for body shape and size by peers and friends. An eleventh grader faces harsh comments that are reshared and liked on social media. Such episodes are familiar to all of us either through our own school years or through our child’s experience. Our early social interactions are critical in shaping the way we think, believe, and perceive ourselves. Bullying by friends and peers can psychologically harm a child. For a long time, we have been accepting bullying as a part of growing up, something that children should learn to 'tough it out', while denying its social, emotional, moral and cognitive consequences," says Mimansa Singh Tanwar, Clinical Psychologist, Head Fortis School Mental Health Program, Fortis National Mental Health Program.
Impact of bulling
According to the WHO, bullying is among the common risk factors leading to mental health conditions in children. The impact that bullying can have on a child is huge. It can leave them with lifelong impressions of an inadequate, unfavourable self, which they carry into adulthood, making them more vulnerable to developing mental health illnesses such as anxiety, depression, or PTSD. In another recent report by UNESCO, 1 in 3 children worldwide have been victims of bullying, with devastating effects on their academic performance, school dropout rates, interpersonal relationships, and physical health. Not only children, but even when talking to adults, there are numerous stories of how being bullied during school days has left a life-long impact on their self-confidence.
"A child may find it difficult to open up about bullying and share with a parent or teacher about their experience, due to the fear of how adverse it may get because of the real or perceived imbalance of power. It is more difficult to break the cycle when the bully is a close peer group because it is confusing and painful for the child to deal with the internal conflict of rejection and the need for acceptance and belonging. They experience feelings of anger, shame, helplessness, exclusion, and isolation," says Tanwar.
How to recognise the signs of bulling
"A child not his/her usual self, quieter, irritable, cries easily, has temper outbursts on small triggers, or a teen with low moods, staying aloof, withdrawing from social circle, or avoiding school, are some of the red flags where a parent must ask them if they are being subjected to any episodes of bullying," says the Clinical Psychologist.
Tanwar also shares tips for parents to help their child deal with bulling:
1. Be involved in your child’s social life through day-to-day interactions about their relationships and general conflicts with their peers.
2. If you recognise that your child is getting bullied, stay calm and composed while they open up. It is normal for you to also feel emotions of anger, helplessness, and worry. However, refrain from expressing those as an initial reaction. Give them the space to share, provide your comfort, and assure them of your support.
3. Resist the urge to contact the other parents or tell the child to physically fight back as it can make the matters worse.
4. Empower your child with the assertiveness skills that they would need to handle the episodes. Work with them on scripts in which they can respond to the bully and practise through role-playing. Teach them how they can use humour to disarm the situation and maintain positive body language while facing the bully.
5. Maintain your line of communication with them and check in regularly on how they are doing. Praise and reinforce the steps that they are taking in the process to face such situations.
6. If the bullying continues to persist or becomes severe, report to the school and discuss appropriate measures that should be taken to stop bullying. When necessary, provide counseling support to your child to deal with psychological impact and skills to cope.
What if your child is a bully
If your child is the one who is bullying the others, here is what you can do according to Tanwar.
1. Watch out if your child is consuming, being exposed to or imitating aggressive behaviour from the environment and address it in appropriate ways.
2. Build empathetic understanding and perspective on how such experiences can impact the others. Help them connect with their feelings in similar situations and discuss the consequences.
3. Engage them in making the consequential amends by involving them in compassionate and kind acts towards the others in the community.
What teachers can do
1. Being the first responders, it is important to not ignore and act immediately if you witness an episode or a child reports.
2. Speak to all the students involved separately for requisite support and necessary actions.
3. Emphasise the role of peer support as a bystander while making empathy and kindness a part of the classroom discussion in the form of stories, role plays and anecdotes.
Role of the school
"Schools should give impetus to building a bully-free safe space by implementing an anti-bullying policy within the system. Awareness programmes for students and parents, as well as training sessions for teachers and staff, are critical components of prevention. At the same time, have a system in place where reported cases are handled with timely intervention and sensitivity. But merely having a policy is not enough, it is the culture of positive school climate 'the felt sense of being in a safe environment' that needs to be cultivated and modelled," concludes Tanwar.
Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs.