6 signs of an emotionally draining relationship and tips to deal with it

Relationships are highly sensitive. To avoid being emotionally drained, it is crucial to reflect on your relationships. Here are six signs of an emotionally draining relationship, along with advice for coping.

Relationships where there are a lot of conflicts, lack of authenticity, minimal attention, or little reciprocity, are exhausting. In those cases, the connection may even feel outweighed by the stress, frustration, or resentment. You may even feel so "used" to this person that the state of exhaustion feels normal. Perhaps it's the critical parent, the friend who leaves you out frequently, or the partner to who you can't say "no". Whatever the case is, exhausting relationships often do not serve the purpose of meaningful connection. (Also read: Are you dating an emotionally immature person? Here are signs )

6 sign of an emotionally draining relationship and tips to deal with it(Unsplash)

According to Divya Robin, Therapist and Wellness Educator, "Being aware of the signs of exhaustion and honouring your feelings is the first step in the process. Admitting you are emotionally drained does not mean that you are 'ungrateful' for the relationship. It just means that there may need to be some shifts made so all parties can get their needs met." Further she suggested few signs of an emotionally draining relationship and tips to deal with it.

1. The conversation almost always revolves around one person

If you don't share your needs with the other person, start to tell them what you need them to do. Shift the dynamic and share more about you with the other person and if the other person can not support you, know it's okay to lean on people who can and will meet your needs. Set realistic expectations of others (e.g. if someone always makes a conversation about them, when you need someone to listen to you vent, perhaps don't go to that person)

2. You feel that you can't be yourself around them

Communicate with them about your feelings and practice allowing yourself to be authentic in spaces (even if they're new). If you don't have spaces where you feel you can be authentic, try to join new online groups, meetups, or community events. Know that it's okay for people to change over time and "outgrow" relationships. Remember that you are worthy of embracing parts of yourself as hiding yourself and your emotions can create shame.

3. You feel that you are walking on eggshells around them

Reflect on what worries you when you are around them (e.g. are you worried about doing something wrong and their reaction?) notice where the root of the emotions are trying to openly communicate with the other person about your emotional needs and see if they are listening to you. If the other person's behaviour is hurting your well-being, consider setting boundaries. Be direct with the person (if it feels safe) instead of not addressing a subject, flat out ask them "are you upset with me?" or "are you okay?"

4. Your relationship is interfering with other areas of your life

Reflect on the ways the relationship is impacting your other relationships, your job, or other areas. Go back to your values and start aligning your decisions based on those vs. the unhealthy parts of the relationship. Allow yourself to take some distance if you notice there is frequent interference and have a conversation with your partner, friend, or relative who is interfering and let them know what is bothering you.

5. You feel constantly criticized and unappreciated

Remember that your worth is not based on what others say about you. Speak to the person about how you are feeling when you are criticized and don't "add" to the critique as you criticizing them 'back' isn't helpful. Be mindful of the difference between a complaint vs. criticism and if the person does not change their behaviours after you share how the criticism is impacting you, know you can disengage and find supportive spaces where you feel welcome and appreciated.

6. You need time to "recover" after spending time with them

Reflect on why you need to "recover" and if you feel drained after spending time with that specific person. Allow yourself time to recover and regulate. Set boundaries and limit your time with them. Practice self-care and think of what proper "recovery" looks like to you. Check in with your emotional needs before deciding to spend time with that person and shape interactions in a way that could feel less draining.

Relationships heavily influence one's mental health and well-being. As humans, we are naturally social beings who crave connection. Because of this, we try hard to make connections and don't always reflect if they're one-sided. It is important to reflect on your relationship so that it won't become emotionally draining.

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