Dating dos and don'ts: 9 common early dating mistakes you must avoid - Hindustan Times

9 common early dating mistakes you must avoid for a more fulfilling romantic journey

Oct 03, 2023 09:03 PM IST

From justifying red flags to playing texting games, here are 9 early dating mistakes that you must avoid for a more satisfying and fulfilling dating experience.

Dating can be tricky these days, with people ghosting, breadcrumbing and zombieing each other faster than you can swipe left. The idea of romance has completely changed now that we are so caught up in meaningless buzzwords. The expectation of having an ideal partner who can post appreciative posts or write poems in your comment sections, thanks to social media, has made the dating process an anxious experience.

Dating dos and don'ts: 9 common early dating mistakes you must avoid(Unsplash/René Ranisch)
Dating dos and don'ts: 9 common early dating mistakes you must avoid(Unsplash/René Ranisch)

When a potential relationship is just beginning, the dating experience can be exciting or nerve-wracking. It's a time of anticipation, meeting new people and considering the prospects of a deeper connection. It's also a time when making mistakes could potentially jeopardise your budding romance. By avoiding some common pitfalls, you can set the stage for a more fruitful and satisfying dating experience. (Also read: How to handle retroactive jealousy in a relationship? Check out signs and tips to deal with it )

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Common early dating mistakes you must avoid

Popular dating and relationship coach Talia shared in her recent Instagram post nine common early dating mistakes you must avoid.

1. Getting ahead of yourself

On those first dates, you start to make assumptions and blow them up in your mind, causing yourself anxiety over something that isn't even reality (it's based on an assumption). Or you start to fantasize about a future before you've gotten to know them.

The fix: Stay present and focus on reality

2. Physical intimacy

If you're prone to anxiety when dating, making physical connections too early will make the process more difficult to navigate. It speeds up physical intimacy while emotional intimacy and connection lag behind, causing a disconnect or 'shift'. We start to expect more after getting physical with a person, which doesn't align with the early stages of dating when you're still getting to know each other.

The fix: Wait until you're on the same page with your dating goals and you know you like them.

3. Playing detective

When you try to read between the lines or decipher their actions and words, you're not grounding yourself in reality. It's a sign that you don't trust them or yourself. Don't try to read the "signs."

The fix: Take what they say and do at face value. Try to focus on reality and ask yourself if you like their behaviour.

4. Justifying red flags

This looks like blatantly ignoring red flags or explaining them away because there are other things about them you like. No one is perfect, but by trying to look past red flags, you're lowering your standards.

The fix: When you see a red flag, walk away.

5. Expecting too much too soon

In early dating, they are not your partner. They're a stranger. They don't owe you constant communication, their weekend time, or an invite to whatever they're doing etc. By having partner expectations of someone you just met, you're putting way too much pressure on the situation.

The fix: Focus on getting to know them more.

6. Too much texting

Too much texting early on sabotages connection. Texting daily is important, but in early dating when you try to have deep conversations via text, you start to come up with an image of who they are that's not accurate. Or you start to feel a connection that's deeper than it actually is. With texting you miss a lot of physical cues, vocal tone and other important context.

The fix: Keep text conversations short and sweet.

7. Playing texting games

Waiting to text, intentionally never texting first and other games like that are more likely to show the person you're dating that you're not interested. Playing these games also causes us way more anxiety in dating.

The fix: Text them the way you'd text anyone.

8. Worrying if they like you

If you're so caught up in trying to be liked, you're not going to show them your true self and you might miss or intentionally ignore red flags.

The fix: Focus on if you like them

9. Going for a first date thinking about "The one"

I know it's counter intuitive but if you're thinking "They could be the one" on the first date, you're going to have a rough time dating. Yes, you are dating for marriage. But you won't know if they're the one early on.

The fix: Go on the first date to see if you want a second one.

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