Are you a serial ghoster? Tips to get rid of the toxic behaviour this halloween
If you have ghosted more than once and looking for ways to celebrate halloween this year, one of them could be getting rid of this toxic behaviour.
Do you ghost people frequently and then feel bad about it, because you just don't know how to end a relationship without breaking someone's heart? You aren't alone. The number of ghosters, who want to avoid awkward conversations while breaking away from a budding relationship, are increasing in dating space. Some people disappear in the middle of a date while some do not turn up even after promising to be somewhere. Ghosting unfortunately not only shakes confidence and breaks hearts, but also dissuades sensitive people from going on dates again. If you have ghosted more than once and looking for creative ways to celebrate halloween this year, one of them could be getting rid of this toxic behaviour. (Also read: Relationship expert on top reasons why people ghost you)
Relationship Expert Shahzeen Shivdasani, Bumble, shares tips on how to avoid ghosting:
If the spark is just not there
When you are getting to know someone, you may feel that you are not compatible after speaking to them for a while. Perhaps, you felt a vibe while chatting with them but you have not felt any spark. Instead of disappearing on them, try saying, “While I have loved getting to know you, I just don’t really feel a spark or see this connection progressing”. Remember that this early on, you’re not obligated to explain yourself any further. There’s no need to expand on why you don’t feel a spark or why you want to end things here. You can conclude the message with a simple, friendly indication that this relationship has run its course.
Your personalities and lifestyles don’t align
While opposites may attract but that's not always the case. Adjusting to different lifestyle choices may not be for you or your personalities might be very different for you to be compatible. In such situations, instead of ghosting someone, try saying, “I am looking for someone whose personality or lifestyle is more aligned with mine”.
There is no romantic connection
At times, even though everything seems great, you may just not be romantically interested. You might meet someone great and be really good friends with but you don't have the heart to tell them that you're not invested in this as much as them. Instead of ghosting them, try saying, “I don’t see a romantic connection here, but I do still want to be friends if you are open to it”. The good news is that rejecting someone with kindness can also be as simple as saying, “Thank you for the fun date, but I’m not feeling a romantic connection.” Even if they don’t react exactly how you want them to, you can feel good about being direct and making a clean break.
You don’t want a serious relationship
You might not be seeking a serious relationship at the time that your connection is. If such a situation arises and you know that it is best for you to not get serious but the other person is getting serious, be clear and let them know the truth with “It’s been great knowing you, however, I am not looking for a serious relationship at this time.“