Are you haunting your ex? 5 ways it can affect your mental health
Following your ex's every move? Haunting is the opposite of ghosting and can be extremely damaging to your mental health.
If you are tracking every move of your ex obsessively on social media or in real world by constantly checking their stories, posts, comments and asking your common friends about them, you are indulging in a toxic behaviour called 'haunting' which is perhaps more harmful for your mental health than the one you are stalking. Of course, it's frustrating for the other person too who's trying to move on but is comfortable being watched by their ex-lover. (Also read: Is your ex orbiting your social media? 5 creative ways to make them stop)
It's understandable that there was a time when your entire world revolved around them and now when it's all over, you can't disconnect emotionally from them or stop thinking about them. Looking at that lovey-dovey photo album again and again, reading and re-reading all those love letters and greeting cards and going through all your past social media posts together only shows that you need to find ways to move on or your unhealthy attachment may start impacting your mental health. (Also read: Are you groundhogging? 5 ways it ruins your dating life or relationships)
"We've all been there before - a breakup that leaves us feeling lost, hurt, and wanting closure. But as technology has evolved, so has our ability to stay connected to our exes long after the relationship has ended. 'Haunting' is the act of keeping tabs on your ex via social media, whether it's checking their Instagram stories, liking their posts, or even sending them messages. While it may seem harmless, haunting can actually have a negative impact on your mental health," says Arouba Kabir, Mental Health Counsellor & Founder, Enso Wellness.
Kabir lists five reasons haunting can impact your mental health.
It can keep you stuck in the past
Haunting can keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward. Seeing pictures of your ex with someone else or doing things you used to do together can trigger feelings of sadness and longing. It's important to remember that your ex has moved on, and so should you.
It can create anxiety
Haunting can create anxiety as you obsess over your ex's every move. You may worry about who they're with, what they're doing, and whether they're happy without you. This can lead to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and even depression.
It can cause unnecessary drama
Haunting can also cause unnecessary drama, especially if you're still in contact with your ex. Sending them messages or commenting on their posts can create tension and conflict, making it harder for both of you to move on.
It can interfere with your healing process
Haunting can interfere with your healing process by constantly reminding you of the past. In order to move on and heal from a breakup, it's important to focus on the present and the future. Haunting your ex can make it harder to do this.
It can lead to obsessive behaviour
Haunting can lead to obsessive behaviour as you become fixated on your ex and their life. This can be unhealthy and prevent you from focusing on your own life and personal growth.
"In conclusion, haunting your ex can have a negative impact on your mental health. It's important to take a step back, focus on your own healing process, and resist the urge to keep tabs on your ex. Remember, the past is in the past and the future is full of new opportunities and possibilities. By letting go and moving forward, you can create a happier and healthier life for yourself," concludes Kabir.