Do you know how to appreciate your partner? Expert offers tips
Appreciation is key to a happy and healthy relationship. Here is some advice from an expert to practice ways that can up your appreciation game and improve your relationship.
Appreciation is fundamental to any healthy relationship. Learning to appreciate your partner is an art-form and it requires attention, skill, and creativity. They are the wellspring of intimate partnership, and it is vital to relational health to engage in daily intentional replenishment of this wellspring. Appreciating someone makes them feel good about who they are, increases confidence, revitalizes someone, and strengthens your relationship. As human beings, we constantly crave positive attention, and learning the art of appreciation is the best way to go about making your partner feel good. The more good will and positive regard we direct towards our partner the safer, happier, and more satisfied they feel which nurtures your bond. (Also read: Ways to express love in a relationship: Expert shares tips )
"Many couples have not developed the skill of appreciation. For other couples resentment has built up over time and they have stopped feeling generous towards one another. When we slip into the habit of taking each other for granted we stop appreciating one another. This leads to other problems - arguments, frustration, resentment and suddenly we begin to wonder if we want this relationship or if it's worth it", says Psychoanalyst and Relationship Coach, Jordan Dan in her recent Instagram post.
She further says, "It is important in a relationship make a commitment to yourself to offer 3-5 specific appreciations a day. This practice will increase positive feelings in your partner, and more importantly it will help you to strengthen your positive view of your partner. We need to actively work against the negative bias to hold the entire reality of who our partner is which usually includes a lot more positive than we notice."
Here are some ways to up your appreciation game:
Characteristic appreciations:
Appreciations that are related to the characteristics and qualities your partner brings to the world and to others. "I appreciate how much you care about the project you are working on. I see how creative you are in your thinking and how much time you invest in your work."
Autonomous pursuits appreciations:
Appreciations that are related to my partner's autonomous pursuits, goals, or values. "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your capoeira practice and how much you give back to the community."
Feeling appreciations:
Appreciations that recognize and deepen ways that my partner makes me feel good. "I appreciate the perspective you offered me the other night. I really appreciate when you take time to think about and respond to the things that I care about."
Witnessing appreciations:
Appreciations that recognize how your partner shows up for others. “I really appreciate the way I see you take care of your Mom. I appreciate how tender you are with her and that really touches me”