Do you think of your partner finding someone else attractive? Expert shares tips
From normalising that the partner can find someone attractive to being curious about worst-case scenarios, here are a few ways to address this.
Often in a relationship, we worry about the partner finding someone else attractive. This mostly happens because of the conditioning we have been a part of since childhood where we were made to believe that a person's value and worth is attached to the way they look. Hence, when we become adults and get into a romantic relationship, we are clouded with the fear of our partners finding someone else attractive based on the way they look. "Do you get anxious about them finding other people attractive? You are not alone. Understanding our minds around this topic and being compassionate with our brains is so important," wrote Relationship Coach Rebecca Ore. But this thought can affect the way we behave in the relationship. Here are a few ways to address that fear:
Normalise the thought of the partner finding someone attractive: Before seeing them as our partner, we need to see them as human beings who can find someone else attractive. It is basic human nature. However, we should also know that they value the relationship more and can choose us over someone else.
Question the conditioning: Just because someone else is attractive, does not make our worth any less. We should challenge the conditioning we have been a part of and know that our value and worth is not tied to the way we look. It is a lot more than that.
Challenge the belief that attractive people are threats: We subconsciously start to see attractive people as threats because we believe that our partners will jump ship as soon as they find someone more attractive than us. We should, instead, believe in the emotional connection we share with the partner and have faith in the strength of the relationship.
Get curious about the worst-case scenario: Instead of resisting the thoughts of them leaving us or cheating on us, we should get curious of how we are going to react to those scenarios. Being prepared helps us from getting scared about these thoughts.