How to set boundaries when you have a new born? - Hindustan Times

How to set boundaries when you have a new born?

ByZarafshan Shiraz, New Delhi
Apr 17, 2024 01:15 PM IST

Check out these expert tips on how new parents can set boundaries with family members, friends and relatives when they have a new born

Parents, congratulations as you successfully navigate through pregnancy challenges and deliver the baby but as new parents, you will have to set boundaries after the baby’s arrival. To ease your woes, we got an expert on board to share the vital tips, following which you can ensure a smooth parenting journey.

How to set boundaries when you have a new born? (Photo by Motherly)
How to set boundaries when you have a new born? (Photo by Motherly)

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Madhuri Burande Laha, Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at Motherhood Hospital in Kharadi, shared, “New moms are required to bring changes in their daily routine after the arrival of the baby. Attempting to breastfeed the baby for the first time in a room full of extended family is no joke. Moreover, there will be constant visitors to check on the mother and the newborn. It is overwhelming for new mothers as they will also have to juggle between baby care and household responsibilities.”

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She suggetsed, “It is the need of the hour for new moms to set boundaries for themselves as well as their family members. These boundaries serve as guidelines to respect your needs and those of others and will allow to build healthy relationships during every phase of life. Setting boundaries is important for new parents as they will have to stick to the baby’s routine, schedules, sleep, and emotional needs like downtime, privacy, and bonding moments. These sets of boundaries will foster healthy relationships and connections. So, try to set boundaries without feeling selfish and let the baby thrive.”

According to her, following are how new parents can set boundaries with family members, friends and relatives

Limit visitors at home after the baby’s birth: Given the baby’s schedule, visitors including children and even pets cause inconvenience and noise or overnight stay so limit visitors at home. It is a known fact that the baby will be uncomfortable in big groups or may cry after seeing an unknown face. It is better to limit visitors at home at least for 6-7 months. Moreover, visitors can also bring infections or allergies with them and this can be a cause of concern for the little one. It’s better to politely refuse the visitors instead of being rude to them.

• Pay attention to your own needs as a new mother: Don’t be harsh on yourself and just take it easy. Take the required amount of rest and “ME Time”. Ask for family support. Your partner can burp the baby while you rest or do the household chores while you are breastfeeding the baby.

Ask for support without hesitation: It is absolutely fine to ask for support and cooperation from your partner or other family members. Opt for regular massages, look after yourself, and take charge of your health to be able to take care of the baby. Explain your reasoning and expectations to the partner or family members to seek support and they will surely back you up.

To draw boundaries, as a couple, be clear with yourself and your partner regarding what boundaries and why are you doing so. See that you are both on the same page before you come up with a set of rules that are dos and don’ts for the baby’s sake.


• Consuming certain foods can lead to stitch infections.

• Coming out of the house will harm the mother or baby.

• Ignore claims that operating a fan can be detrimental to the baby's well-being.

• Understand that unnecessary food restrictions and sleepless nights both together may take a significant toll on the mental health of the mother

• Politely decline unnecessary restrictions unless specifically advised by a healthcare professional.

• Prioritise self-care and allocate "me time" without feeling guilty, as it will help replenish energy levels and enable better care for the baby.

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