How to work through common traits in dysfunctional families? Expert shares tips

From shaming to stonewalling to stating worst case scenarios, here are a few common traits that dysfunctional families follow. Here are a few expert tips on how you can break such generational cycle of trauma.

The homes we are brought up in, later forms the base of our emotional development and relationships. Many of us come from dysfunctional families where the common feeling is that of nervousness, anxiety and restlessness. Sadness and suffering alone forms the basis of such homes. The way our parents behave with us and treat us throughout also impacts us in the way we behave later in life. However, as Psychologist Nicole LePera puts it, “Dysfunctional family patterns are common. They’re passed down from generation to generation, unconsciously.”

How to work through common traits in dysfunctional families? Expert shares tips(Unsplash)

Nicole, a few days ago, addressed the common traits of dysfunctional families and laid down a few tips and tricks on how to work through them. “It’s heartbreaking to be the black sheep. Or to be ignored or even punished for leaving family norms. It’s also the path to breaking cycles,” she added.

Stonewalling – Generational trauma cycles take a lot of effort and reassurance to be broken with time. Dysfunctional families often create a wall around them and dismiss ideas that may bring a change in their dynamic. It is important to reassure ourselves that we are worthy of trying out new ideas and exploring a healthier lifestyle, even though the family does not subscribe to the same.

Shaming – The most common trait of dysfunctional families is to guilt shame us or make us feel bad for choosing a path that they do not approve of. It is important to find friends or people who encourage us and support our growth.

Group think mentality – Such families always ask for more members to adhere to their narrative. Once we start going through the healing process of getting over our childhood trauma, the trait of the family involves punishing us. It is important to affirm to our reality and knowing that we deserve to heal, even though our families do not approve of it.

One family member – Usually in dysfunctional families, the narrative and the dynamic revolve around one family member who creates the emotional tone of the home. It is suggested to create our own boundaries and practice setting, even when it gets painful and scary.

Worst case scenarios – Usually when we start growing or healing, families start stating down reasons why we cannot take up such practices. These worst-case scenario projections come from their ideas of fear. It is important to surround ourselves with people who believe in us and our potential.