Is your honesty hurting your partner? Relationship coach shares 6 differences between honest feedback and being cruel

A relationship therapist shared the six key differences between being honest with your partner and being cruel to them under the facade of giving feedback.

Honesty is important in a relationship, and so is feedback and transparency. Whether it is your partner or a loved one, they should know your feelings about them and vice versa. However, your honest feedback might sometimes be too cruel for your loved ones.

A relationship coach shared 6 differences between honest feedback and being cruel to your partner. (Shutterstock)

What builds a beautiful relationship?

According to relationship therapist and psychologist Kasturi M, the key to a healthy relationship is knowing the difference between being a genuine, authentic, kind communicator and being cruel when giving feedback. In an Instagram post, she advised being more intentional with your better half and never saying something you wouldn't like to hear anyone else say to you.

“The most important trait that helps us build a beautiful, sustainable relationship - be it with our partner or others? Authentic and genuine kindness,” she added.

Are you being honest, or are you being cruel?

The relationship coach also shared 6 examples which show the difference between when your partner's honesty is well-intentioned and when it can be cruel.

1. Communication when honest is delivered respectfully, even if the message is difficult.

However, communication becomes cruel when it involves a disrespectful or condescending tone.

2. Honesty is rooted in good intentions, like resolving issues or genuine curiosity. But cruelty comes from a place of malice or spite, meaning to hurt the other person.

3. Honesty involves empathy and consideration for each other's feelings, even when expressing difficult facts and emotions.

Meanwhile, cruelty lacks empathy and completely disregards the other person's emotions.

4. Feedback, when honest, is constructive and is given so that solutions can be found and the relationship can improve.

Cruel feedback is called criticism - it's destructive and is intentionally aimed at belittling or demeaning the other person.

5. Honest communication considers the timing and context, choosing the right moment to address issues calmly and effectively.

Meanwhile, when one wants to be cruel, they strike at vulnerable moments or use public humiliation to embarrass their partner.

6. Honest partners are honest individuals. They communicate consistently and express their thoughts and feelings openly and transparently.

Meanwhile, cruelty that is disguised as honesty is usually sporadic, coming out only during conflicts or arguments in an exaggerated or hurtful manner.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.