Navigating relationship concerns: 10 gentle reminders if you sense your partner is pulling away
If you notice signs of your partner pulling away in your relationship, it's crucial to respond with understanding and communication.
Ups and downs are inevitable in relationships, and sometimes partners show signs of pulling away. If you and your partner have been dating for a while and you've noticed a change in your relationship, you may find yourself up all night wondering what you can do to stop your partner from pulling away. They may not respond to your touch as much as they used to, they may stop planning romantic dates, or they may just seem more distant in general. Navigating these uncertain waters requires a delicate balance of understanding, patience and communication. Relationships, like the ebb and flow of the tides, can go through periods of emotional distance. If you pick up on signs that your partner may be withdrawing, it's important to approach the situation with empathy and self-reflection. (Also read: Feeling overwhelmed by the mental load in your relationship? Here's why you need to address it )
Reminders if you feel like your partner is pulling away
Erica, Relationship Therapist and Dating Coach shared in her recent Instagram post ten reminders that can serve as guideposts when you feel like your partner is pulling away.
1. Do not allow yourself to attach your worth to this person's decision to be in a relationship with you or not, your worth is intact either way.
2. Notice yourself and what this person's behaviour brings up in you (i.e. what your body feels like, what thoughts you're having, what emotions you're having). This may be difficult at first if your default is to focus externally on the other attention person
3. Remember that your identity is not defined by this person's behaviour.
4. Do not chase this person, do not go into people-pleasing mode, do not drop your boundaries to appease them.
5. Do not over-function by trying to figure out how to win back their attention, validation, or acceptance (i.e. crafting the perfect text message or going above and beyond for them).
6. Do not assume you know why this person is pulling away.
7. Consciously choose how to respond to this person's behaviour, make a choice that is aligned with your values, not based on fear or insecurity.
8. If appropriate, communicate what you are noticing in their behaviour change, state what you're looking for in a relationship, and ask where they're at with things. Accept their response & decide how you want to move forward.
9. Assess whether you can engage with this person without compromising your boundaries, standards, or values.
10. Learn to manage your own discomfort around someone's inability to match what you're looking for in a relationship or meet your relationship needs.