No more compromises: 5 ways to stop settling for less in your relationship
Tired of always compromising and neglecting your needs in a relationship? Here are some valuable tips to break free and embrace a healthy partnership.
Love is a wonderful fulfilling journey that fills our lives with happiness, relationship, and pleasure. However, occasionally we could find ourselves settling for less in a relationship than we actually deserve in our quest for love and connection. You won't ever feel as though your values or worth are being compromised in a healthy relationship. Your needs are generally addressed in various ways even if all of your aspirations and expectations aren't being met. Accepting less than what we deserve may result in misery and an unsatisfying relationship, whether it involves surrendering our beliefs, suffering abuse, or repressing our wants and needs. Fortunately, realising that we deserve better and making improvements to our relationships can be a transformational and liberating experience. (Also read: Spice up your bond: 8 exciting couple activities to ignite passion and deepen your connection )
Ways to stop settling for less in relationship
Erica Turner, Relationship Therapist and Dating Coach shared in her recent Instagram post five essential ways to break free from the cycle of settling for less in our relationships.
1. Acknowledge the reality of who your partner is, their behaviour, whether they align with your values and standards, and whether or not they are able to meet your needs. Accept the reality and stop focusing on hope, their potential, or the fantasy in your mind
2. Identify your relationship needs and begin to meet them on your own. You meet your needs on your own by learning how to give them to yourself and by choosing to seek your needs from partners who show you that they are able to meet your needs through their actions (not empty words).
3. Stop externally focusing on the other person and begin to focus inwardly on yourself. Assess how this relationship makes you feel. Express what you feel, think, and need without letting fear of the person's reaction stop you. Stop focusing on the other person's needs, preferences, comfort, mood, or how to get them to change.
4. Reframe your perspective of boundaries. You are allowed to have boundaries that express what you will and will not accept. Practice communicating and upholding your boundaries when they are disrespected. Push through any discomfort that arises when your body automatically perceives setting boundaries as threatening. Connect to your body and calm your nervous system through the perceived threat.
5. Separate your sense of worth from this relationship. Your worth is not dependent on whether or not you are in a relationship. If someone is unable to meet your needs in a relationship, it is not a reflection of you. It is a display of their capacity and limits, or it displays a mismatch in wants/needs that are incompatible.
"Accepting less than what you want in relationships is rooted in something way deeper than just the current relationship. Accepting less than, tolerating negative behaviour, and continuing to exist in a relationship where you are unfulfilled are all signs pointing you to look deep within," says Erica.
- Ask yourself what is keeping you in a situation where you are not getting what you want?
- Explore the fears, doubts, and worries that come up for you.
- Ask yourself where these things may have originated.
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