What is a true apology? Therapist shares tips
From acknowledging the pain caused to understanding the impact, here are a few things that a true apology involves.
In a relationship, mistakes are natural to happen. No matter how careful we are to never hurt the feelings of the other person, sometimes unconsciously we end up hurting them. Be it our words or actions, when we hurt the other person's emotions and feelings, we need to learn to apologise with our heart and ensure that we try to compensate for the pain caused to them. That's why we need to learn to apologise wholeheartedly. "Have you gotten a true apology? I want to open up a conversation. When I shared this on Twitter, there was a massive response of people who had never been apologized to. If we want to have healthy relationships, we have to learn how to apologize and how to receive an apology," wrote Psychologist Nicole LePera as she explained the importance of learning how to apologise and doing it right.
Nicole further noted down what a true apology involves:
Acknowledgement of pain: The first thing we need to learn while apologising is to acknowledge the pain that we have caused to others. We should be able to validate their pain without explaining our side of the story.
Change: A true apology involves the promise of a change to make things better. And while we speak about changes, we should be mindful of only making promises that we can meet. Bringing in changes in behavior and words to ensure that we do not end up hurting the other person ever again is the best way of showing them that we care.
Impact: We should be patient in listening to their side of the story. This is the part where sometimes people get defensive and start explaining their side – but the right thing to do is to stay quiet and try to understand how our actions and words have negatively impacted someone else.
Nicole further added that to actually apologise, we need emotional maturity, the ability to introspect and make changes and ego awareness.